Wednesday, February 9, 2011

7. let's not play that game

7. Your Best Friend.

I kind of don't believe in best friends.  Hear me out.
On monday, I was reading in my marriage textbook, and I stumbled across this sentence that says "Girls tend to play more in small groups or pairs, and their lives often revolve around best-friend relationships." The simplicity of this statement kind of blew my mind, thinking about how every girl I ever met really is drawn to one specific individual at all times.  The textbook also said boys are more competitive in their communication, but I disagree, I think girls are, just in a way more complicated fashion. Girls compete for a best friend, and most of the time, yes, we're drawn to one girl and/or guy moreso than the next naturally, but I always have been uncomfortable with the term "best friend"I hate playing favorites! Yes, I've been especially close with a certain several people as I grew older, but it's unfair to the rest of the people I cherish as well to make a little list of the higher-up besties. And think about it, once you establish a best-friend relationship, don't you hold expectations for that person? I can't help but do so. And then when life goes on and you both change, the expectations are broken, because the friendship has lost its luster. Relationships grow and shrink like the waves, even those you have with blood relatives. Even the one you may keep with a boyfriend, fiance, or husband. I am the closest with Benjamin, we love each other a lot, and I'm pretty darn confident that our relationship isn't going anywhere. But I believe that in order to maintain a constant close relationship, you both have to want it and work at it, indefinitely. Ben's technically my best friend, but he's so much more than that. With different girlfriends however, that isn't a forever goal for both people, at least not in my life. I hear a lot of this term being thrown around, mostly within the band crowd at school. And I think when people claim a best friend to another normal friend, it hurts their feelings, because they can't amount to the standard of BEST for them. I mean, life can be a game a lot of the time, certainly. But in this aspect, I don't want any part of the competitiveness. Rather, I work on showing as many people as I can manage how much I appreciate having them around. And I'll be nice to the rest.

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