Friday, January 28, 2011

just to clear the air

I really want to let everyone know some key, crucial things. Things that I wrote about, that I was wrong about. So everyone can stop judging.

What happened in my relationship with Ben had some crazy ups and downs over the course of the last 6 weeks or so, but the details really aren't the world's business. What is important is that Ben never cheated on me. I wrongly publicized that he did do that, but he did not cheat. I may have been led to believe that by some person, but in this aftermath, it's very clear that Ben was never legitimately unfaithful. I used that information, the idea that he may have done that to me, as my validation for playing the victim, and that was wrong. I would not go back to someone who had cheated on me, for everyone's information. I am really sorry, world. I'm really sorry, Ben, for saying untrue things. I'm young, I'm naive, whatever, but I know that I would NOT have invested so much time into someone with poor character. I know that, and Ben truly has incredible character. He's gotten a bad rep, but I won't dare let that define him. He is remarkable and humble and loving. He has GOOD intentions and I'm not naively saying these things. I was really angry and ignorant and I said a lot of crap on my blog and in person about him, and I'm really sorry! I was angry when I called him a lowlife and awful and that was awful of me to do such terrible, permanent actions. I'm not gonna go and erase those posts, but instead I just want to apologize and vow to never bash on people that I love again. Online especially.

And another thing, if you haven't already read between the lines, I love Ben. I love him very much, and have loved him for quite some time now. And I'm not ashamed.

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