Thursday, April 28, 2011


The spirit has always, always, been a strong presence in my life. A lot of times in my past I can recall its words directed at me. Mostly though, I get deep impressions that feel like judgment, but I know isn't coming from me. And for the longest time, the spirit has been urging me to pursue something I didn't originally want to pursue, for unknown reasons. Or so I thought. Tonight, I felt an aggressive, complete opposite prompting than my usual, with this thing. I heard the voice telling me to "get out and go home" very distinctly. I was so surprised with how firm He was, how different of a prompting this was compared to my usual. Upon leaving the premises, I was very calm and comforted, but once I got out of there, anxiety overwhelmed my person. I got to my room, still in a shuddering panic. I stopped breathing and pretty much knocked myself out from sheer lack of oxygen. It has taken me a good two hours to calm down now, and I'm sure the shock of the situation will keep me up all night. Could the spirit have really been fooling me all along? Have I really been led away from the spirit and been following other promptings? Or was this all supposed to be a test? Was it something He wanted me to go through, until this one random, insignificant moment when He tells me to all of a sudden"get out"? I don't agree, and I don't understand. I'm so upset and exasperated and confused. 

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