affettuoso

I'm dying.

I woke up this morning at 6 and I've been running around all day, with no food, until 7, and then didn't get home until 11. I had 9 hours of class and then 3 hours of practice and an hour of homework time. I can't believe how productive and exhaustive I've been today. I performed in masterclass today my unaccompanied Telemann Fantasy and the style of the movement I had to convey was supposed to be affectionate. It took my audience 4 run-throughs to even get close to guessing the correct emotion. My professor told me that she thinks I'm too wound up and not affectionate enough. She told me my assignment for the week was to practice being more affectionate! Wow. The girls were describing the music I played as a conversation between lovers. One commented on how when you love someone, you want to be with them forever, and not just say "Hey how are you I'm gonna go watch tv and do this and be busy and bye," like how I was playing it. Not to say that I was nervous or unprepared for that performance, but I was totally off. I couldn't convey affection. I thought about how I'm trying to protect myself and hold back on affection for the time being. But I could have given them tons of excuses!

Excuses are for the weak. This is college.
Wake up!