stress in f clef

Today's kind of a big day. And oh look! It's snowing outside - grr. Isn't may in two days? Anyway, today I have my very last class (potentially) of keyboard harmony. I'm also volunteering to help out with this high school band thing going on at the fac. Then, after wind orchestra, I have juries. Following juries is our last concert of the semester. So like I said, big day.

My juries aren't stressing me out - last night I practiced for a solid hour and a half and everything I went through seemed to go well. What I'm the most worried about it my Keyboard final Monday morning. If I don't get at least a 140, I fail the class. Bass clef just plain sucks! I took piano for 5 years in my childhood, but once I got to college, it was as if I've never looked below middle C. Also, I play some euphonium music in that clef, but Dr. Wheeler catches my contempt for f clef and gives me any music he can find in g clef instead. 

what?

The spirit has always, always, been a strong presence in my life. A lot of times in my past I can recall its words directed at me. Mostly though, I get deep impressions that feel like judgment, but I know isn't coming from me. And for the longest time, the spirit has been urging me to pursue something I didn't originally want to pursue, for unknown reasons. Or so I thought. Tonight, I felt an aggressive, complete opposite prompting than my usual, with this thing. I heard the voice telling me to "get out and go home" very distinctly. I was so surprised with how firm He was, how different of a prompting this was compared to my usual. Upon leaving the premises, I was very calm and comforted, but once I got out of there, anxiety overwhelmed my person. I got to my room, still in a shuddering panic. I stopped breathing and pretty much knocked myself out from sheer lack of oxygen. It has taken me a good two hours to calm down now, and I'm sure the shock of the situation will keep me up all night. Could the spirit have really been fooling me all along? Have I really been led away from the spirit and been following other promptings? Or was this all supposed to be a test? Was it something He wanted me to go through, until this one random, insignificant moment when He tells me to all of a sudden"get out"? I don't agree, and I don't understand. I'm so upset and exasperated and confused. 

elegy of an uprooting

My computer hasn't been letting me on my blog these last few days, claiming there was malicious software stored in the html add-ons. Basically, my blog crashed. I simply had no choice but to alter the format and make it like new! These last couple of hours have been dedicated here. I hope you like the way things look now. :)

On another separate and dissonant note, I leave the dorms in ten days. Next Saturday. What's funny about that, is I'm not sad to see it go. I'm not afraid of all the goodbyes I'll have to give. I'm so ready to get out of here, even though it's been way good to me. 

I live in the towers on Utah State's central campus. Here, we have required meal plans and a daily janitor, which means two big things: I don't own kitchen equipment or any household cleaning supplies. Not to mention, I have no groceries, not even cereal. I've been relying on the school system. This means I will be needing to buy a boatload of, Everything, once I move out. To make this more convenient, I don't even have a car! Last August upon moving in here, I brought 5 pieces of luggage filled with my life, and then proceeded to get two Walmart shopping carts full of more stuff. Haha - this is going to be fun...

I've got some help from a few friends and Benjamin, but to be honest I've been stressing about the location switch a lot lately. My small towers dorm is bursting with my things and I can only hope to God that I can manage to pack up and organize it all, manageably. I'm not even worried about juries or finals anymore! But I haven't been practicing flute or keyboard hardly enough, at the same time. That's not normal, is it?

c'est belle

I've been keeping a collection of paintings I love, via iPhoto. If I could have anything in the whole world right now, it would be an original oil-on-canvas work of art. Oil is sublime; watercolors aren't too shabby either, I suppose. Here are just a few of my favorites.